November 2nd

Hi, sorry I haven't posted in what seems like forever. Things have been crazy and I will TRY to post every week now, so bear with me.

   So exactly a week ago, I switched host families. The timing could not have been worse, for last weekend I was at a rotary get together. During this get together, I danced all night and did not sleep very much. So when Sunday rolled around I was quite grumpy and just wanted to sleep. My mood worsened when Bettina picked me up from the station, it hit me that I was actually leaving the people who helped me make my adjustment into Denmark. We arrived at the house, much too soon. Martin was already there, and Gerdt, my counselor, was there too. We had coffee together and just chatted. Soon enough, the conversation switched to all Danish. I resorted to zoning out and staring at the fish tank, unwilling to cope with reality. Eventually, it was time for them to leave. I hugged both of them and miraculously managed not to cry. As soon as the door closed behind them, I was thrown into a new life. With two young boys, it would no longer be quiet. A week has gone by, and I'm settling in quite nicely.

   Halloween was this past Friday, and much to my disappointment Denmark does not celebrate Halloween like we do in the USA. It is not a popular holiday, it is difficult to find a neighborhood to actually trick or treat in. But my host family happens to know someone who live in an area that there is a small amount of trick or treating. So I dressed up as Rapunzel from Tangled and handed out candy to children who probably don't speak English. It was a sad excuse for Halloween, but it was better than nothing. Since I did not get to fully celebrate Halloween (or Thanksgiving for that matter), I will put an obnoxious amount of time and effort into Christmas. I will TRY to refrain from singing Christmas carols until December 1st, but I can't guarantee anything.

   Lately, a friend and I have been discussing college. It's mostly her talking about all the advanced classes she has taken and how she's worried about getting into a good college, which in turn stresses out a very average student like myself. I would enjoy going to college, but there are multiple questions that need answering before college life can begin. First things first, what would I like to major in? That is a question I have struggled with for most of my high school career. I don't want to wake up someday when I'm 30 and realize I hate my job. I want to be completely in love with what I do, and I don't quite believe that you can make that decision at 18. Also, I haven't found anything I am good at or passionate about, I've dabbled in writing, photography, and even art for a brief time. After trying all of those and more, I never found something I excelled at. Writing is the closest I got at being good at anything, and even that is pretty rough around the edges. With all those questions, there are some things that I  know for sure, I want to do something in liberal arts (no math and science for me!!!), take a women's studies class, and be able to study abroad at some point. With that small list, I still have quite a bit to still figure out. Hopefully this year points me in the right direction.

   Growing up is a huge part of exchange. Before you leave you need to be mature enough to take care of yourself, and you need to be able to handle the freedom you are given. From a young age, I was very mature. I was put in some situations that required me to grow up before other kids, I believe that it aided in my independent nature. Being mature and independent were some of the big things that made me right for exchange. But none of that could have prepared me for my family growing up. When I saw a picture of my little brother in his football gear, I was flooded with panic. He looked so grown up and I realized that he only has a few precious years of elementary school left. When I get back, he'll be transitioning into that awkward middle schooler phase. I am definitely not ready for that change. He wont be the little boy that I left back home. My sister began her first year of high school this year, HIGH SCHOOL. In my mind, she is much to young to already be in the high school. This year she will also turn 15 and get her permit. She is making all of these changes, without me there. No matter how grown up I may be, it can't compensate for my family growing up too. The clock is ticking, and I can't stop it no matter how hard I try.

  
   Roughly a year ago, I began getting serious about becoming an exchange student. After many hours, I finally completed and sent in the application. Then I had the club interview to worry about. Even though there were familiar faces on the board, I was still a nervous wreck. I thought I would fail the interview and all my dreams would be snatched from me. Afterwards, I was told I passed with flying colors. The next round of interviews came around and this time it was serious. If I didn't impress these people, I was done. During the interviews I was quiet, and shy. The more I thought about what was at stake, the more I clammed up. The only thing that kept me from running out the door in fear was how much work I had put into all of it. I remember seeing the other kids in the room and wondering who would get in and who wouldn't. Months later I got to know those guys pretty well. When that interview was over, I was exhausted. I slept the entire card ride home. Weeks passed and I checked my email everyday, waiting for an answer. The day it arrived, I cried. I was so happy, I couldn't believe it was actually happening. At the time I don't think I knew exactly what I was getting into. I didn't quite realize what a year in a foreign country entailed. But now I know, and I would make that decision again in a heartbeat.

   While on exchange, you can never have too many friends. Over time you collect friends from all over the world, USA, Denmark, Australia, Thailand, the list goes on and on. My closest friends though are the ones from the USA and Denmark. With my Danish friends we talk about boys, Harry Potter, and school things. As a rule, Danes don't get very personal with people they just met. I am much more personal with my friends from the USA. We talk about ridiculous things and vent about all the problems exchange students have. They make me feel like I can conquer the world and I hope they feel the same. It's very rare that you can find someone you can spend AN ENTIRE WEEK with and not get sick of them, but I have. People say that you make friends for life while on exchange, and it's true.
  

  

   

My 6th week

   One of the main things you need to learn on exchange is, people are going to tell you that the way you are doing things is wrong. The way you approach school work, make friends, learn the language...there are going to be a handful of people who will tell you everyday that you're not doing anything right. On these days you just need to stand up straight, look them in the eye and tell them you're doing just fine.  Not everyone is going to accomplish goals the same way, and not everybody has the same goals. Maybe someone's goal is to make one good friend, and the other's is to make 10 good friends. Some may just go to school for the social aesthetic. People are going to do things their own way, and that's okay.

   The absolute hardest part of this experience has been the language. Some days I actually contemplate the theory of language, I will be staring at a person speaking Danish and think "They are making sounds, that I don't understand and its a language?!"
   Some days it just utterly baffles me the way language works. For my person language learning experience, its been rough. At this point in time I can understand quite a bit of simple questions, I know important phrases, and the basics of sentence structure. That's all great, but there's one problem, I won't try and speak Danish. I am so self conscious about my pronunciation. I KNOW I need to speak it, but I need to get over my insecurity. With the other exchange students, we speak a hilarious mix of Danish and  English. We all feel better looking stupid in front of each other because we're all in the same boat. Everyday I try to speak a tiny bit more Danish, whether it's saying good morning to my classmates or telling the cashier at Netto that I don't speak Danish. It's not much, but at least I'm trying.

   I've been here for six weeks already, I am not devastated about missing anyone...except my sister. She was the one person I saw Every. Single. Day. This is the longest I've gone without seeing her. I'm not going to lie, it's hard some days. Especially her very first day of high school, on that day it was all I could do to not break down crying in the middle of class. That day was once in a lifetime, and I missed it. I feel like a horrible person because of it. She was the last person I hugged when I left the USA and she will be the first I hug when I get back. I miss her more than anything in the world. As clique as it may sound, she was/is/will always be my best friend.

   Since I have been avoiding this subject for quite some time, I think I will finally address it. In the schools here in Denmark, there are NO dress codes. Nothing that says skirts/shorts need to be this long, or that you can't wear tank tops. At first, I generally didn't notice. Until a classmate wore a tank top to class one day. So I asked someone about dress codes at the school. I had a huge grin when my classmate replied that there wasn't any. Three things I have noticed about not having a dress code; 1. Everyone still dresses in a respectful manner, nobody dresses in a "distasteful" way. 2. IT DOES NOT DISTRACT THE MALE STUDENTS!!!! That right there is 99% of the reason high schools in the USA claim to enforce the dress code. I have never once seen or heard of a male student or facility member having a problem with the female's choice of dress. These sexist pigs need to STOP sexualizing young women's bodies. 3. It's an awesome feeling to be able to wear a skirt and not fear getting in big trouble for it. So bottom line is, there is no actual need to have a dress code. They only exist because of sexist pigs who over sexualize and objectify women's bodies.